3 questions to ask yourself to see if you are playing victim

You are probably asking yourself why you should even care if you are playing victim or not. What I mean by playing victim is blaming others and outside events for your problems, and unhappiness instead of taking responsibility and finding the opportunity within the opposition. That means only others, or changes in circumstances can fix our problems and make us happy. Sounds pretty silly doesn't it?

So, how do we get out of this victim mode? By first identifying, then changing our thought patterns.

We all have patterns of thinking that hold us back.

To see if you are you playing victim ask yourself these questions
1. Does how I'm thinking promote a sense of hopelessness about the future? Thoughts like, my future is bleak, I have no control over the future, I have no options.
2. Does how I'm thinking lower my sense of worth or power? Thoughts that the problem can't be solved.
3. Does how I'm thinking promote negative feelings towards other people? Who are you blaming, your family, the government, that stranger that did X to you?

If the answer to any of these three questions is "yes" then you are playing victim and there is some re-scripting that can be done. You want to re-script to change that harmful pattern of thinking.


1. capture your event down in writing, just as you see it (do this so you can see where the wrong thinking is, then change it)
2. look for owner statements (statements where you take responsibility, where you have a healthy view of the incident) Build on those statements.
3. look for victim statements, see if you can diminish those
4. look for exaggerated disadvantages (where you are making the problem seem bigger, where you are giving your power away to the problem)
5. look for overlooked advantages and benefits (how does being a victim benefit you?)
6. rewrite your story as an owner (meaning someone who takes responsibility for their life)

*Out of some of our most difficult trials come some of our greatest blessings and strengths.

Doing this exercise will help you discover the blessings!

I'll post an example of this tomorrow.

For more on this, visit Dr. Dennis Deaton at http://www.quma.net/personal/dr-deaton.html